SQUAD LIST

United for the cause

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GK

Jamie Short – Peter Schimicheal esq. Dominates the back line, I still don’t know how he has not lost his voice, rumour has it our centre backs have to wear ear plugs and we’ve had several noise complaints when we play. Fully committed to everything, and I’ve seen strikers run the other way when they see the whites of his eyes.

GK

Greg Manly –Greg played in our very first Vets game and has unfortunately had some bad injuries, but we are delighted to see him back in the ECFC game. If you get talking to him he will probably chew your ear off about a double penalty save, what he won’t tell you… he was about 3 yards off his line when it was taken.

GK/CF

Mark Christopher – One of those people who can just play anywhere, including being a quality keeper, throws his body into everything. Only ECFC player to have scored a hat trick too (he also plays up front)

Defence

RB

Ben Clarke – Will be found screaming OVERLAP!!!! In every game only for no one to pass him the ball. He’s got a few ECFC goals too shame half of them are in the wrong net. Love a penalty too, unfortunately that’s giving them away not taking them.

RB/LB

Martyn – The Duracell bunny aint got nothing on this lad, he never stops running. Absolute nightmare of a player to play against, probably covers more ground than the rest of the team put together.

CB

Stuart Souch – Our Skipper, lives breathes and bleeds ECFC, he wears the captains armband with pride. 100% appearance record. Absolute no nonsense player absolute battle axe, he’d still play if his leg was falling off

CB

Simon Dodman – Our Silver Fox, gentle giant off the pitch, turns into an absolute animal in the tackle on the pitch. Rolls Royce of a defender, calm, composed and good on the ball, think of Woodgate, except without the injuries.

CB/LB

Joe Cameron – Versatile player, reads the game like a book, great engine on him, strong voice of encouragement, hard role to play when you have to manage 176 rolling substitutions in 90 minutes whilst playing

CB/LB

Gary Rocky – One of those payer who calmly and quietly goes about their own game, but always so impactful. Grabbed is first goal recently with a calmly composed slot into the bottom corner, however he looked really confused and was not sure how to celebrate.

CB/CF

Pat England – Pat has to pay double subs or we would be broke with all the balls he loses. Beast of a player, strong as an ox and often bullies defenders. Likes to play CB but he will often be found wandering up the pitch skinning several player before forgetting to pass the ball.

CB

Gary Alford – Recent debut and fitted in so well he looked like he’d been here from the start. Almost impossible to get past him and strong on the ball.

CB/RB

Steve Joyce - The nicest, kindest, most caring man out of the whole squad. Loves a little cheeky flick or two. Deceptively deft with his feet. Often plays in the back four, but there's nothing more than Steve loves in the cheeky little stint up front for the last five minutes.

Midfield

RW/LW

Adrian Webster – Tactically turns up in flip flops so he doesn’t have to play, but secretly I know he’s always got his boots in car boot, and he’s always willing to chip in and help out where he can. Bloody fit considering he 102 years old.  Also well known for being one of our superfans and always comes down to support us.

RW/LW

Jack Littleworth – Our little pocket rocket, has pace to burn, but also tracks back with effort, deadly with the ball at his feet, takes some fairly hefty challenges but can give as good as he gets.

CM/CAM

Ashley Webber - Every decent team needs a prima donna. Someone who throws their toys out the pram because we don't have a goalkeeper. He wears leggings to footballs, do I need to say any more? But boy, this boy raw has talent, and he’ll happily remind you every 5 minutes that “I played to a decent level”  Stepovers, Cruyff turns, rabonas, this boy has it all. Can’t tackle for toffee though.

CM

Adam Goodyear – Deadly first touch, technically able to read the game and knows what he’s going to do with the ball before he even gets it, rarely gives possession away. Always plays with a smile on his face and impossible to get him angry.

RW/LW

CAM – Dario – Our 2 foot tall Portuguese twinkle toes, has absolute pace to burn with his 30cm legs, often no one knows where he’s going and neither does he half the time, impossible to get the ball off him, pretty sure its tied to his boots with string half the time

RW/LW

Kieran Baxter - When he's not taking flashy photographs or using some wizardry video technology, Kieran is the engine room in the wings. Works tirelessly up and down, getting forward for attacking play, but also protecting any left-back or right-back that's not doing their job properly.

CM

Niki Lush - Whatever you do, wherever you play him, just make sure you never stick him in goal. Always open to a brown envelope stuffed full of cash to dive the wrong way and let a penalty in, (all in the spirit of charity of course). There's no doubt Lushy puts it all into the pitch, and often leaves his body there too. Likes a good substitution, especially when he's coming off with a face as purple as a beetroot.

CM

Darren – You'll never hear a peep for Darren, yet he's probably one of our most influential midfielders. The lad can do everything. Tackle, pass, head, shoot, dribble, and the most important skill of all, that none of us seem to have, he can actually run for more than five minutes.

CDM

Garry Yelland – I’ve never heard a more fitting name than “bomber” absolute warrior of a player, he’d put roy Keane to shame, he’d probably be able to deck him too, hard as nails this lad is. Happy to sit back and crunch a tackle, often gets a nose bleed if he passes the half way line.

CDM/ CM

David Haine – Genuinely I’ve never seen a player break 3 pairs of boots in one match, only allowed to play now if we bring 6 rolls of duct tape. Another player with an engine, but also has a pretty deft touch too.  

CDM/CM

Rob Kirk – The living legend, I’ve never seen a player do a match walk out with a pint in his hand until I met Rob, often plays better if he’s got 3 pints in his tank, however he still somehow covers ever lade of grass on the pitch, pretty gifted with both feet too.

ANYWHERE

Cory - Signing of this season, tapped up on the free market transfer window. Managed to somehow convince him to come to play for us. Phenomenal levels of skill, and also daft levels of fitness. Totally unselfish player despite his ability. Often bring other poorer players like Matt Gofton into the game.

Forwards

SF

Adam Smith – Genuinely nice lad, but not afraid to put his body on the line, and happy to take one for team, makes a nuisance of himself in the box, also known as our secret super sub

UNKNOWN

Matt Gofton - Randomly waddles around the pitch like a lost soul, never quite sure where he should be. Matt loves a tactical sub. Nothing more than a cameo appearance for the last five minutes of each half while everyone else is blowing red. If you talk to him, he will most definitely chew your ear off about the most perfect penalty ever taken by mankind.

ST

Levi Crawford - Is like that crazy little puppy in a field and just bolts around everywhere like mental, paced with energy. Surprisingly quick for his age too, Super Power Headerer of the ball. Unfortunately he misses more games than Darren Anderton due to constantly being injured. His injuries mean he is often drafted in the run the line. He actually injured his shoulder once raising the flag, needless to say we conceded 3 goals that game, all three of them were offside